Masturbation May (our favorite month)
I have always had a goal of making masturbation a common word amongst my friends. I remember when I first started masturbating, I was about 11 years old and realized I could self pleasure. This was partially an attempt to reclaim my sexuality after sexual abuse, but also masturbating is an extremely common thing for young kids when they are getting to know their bodies.
More people masturbate than exercise! And masturbation, especially for women is extremely important in getting to know your body. How can you expect someone to please you when you don't know how to please yourself?
One of my biggest suggestions when getting over the hurdle of taking shame away from masturbation is to realize why I was doing it. For me it's an emotional and spiritual practice and release. It is a form of self-love, especially as a single person who would rather pleasure herself than seek new partners, who, let's be real, likely will not get me to the orgasm my body craves.
Another way that I got over masturbation as a bad thing was by avoiding porn as part of this ritual. As a very young child, like so many of us I was exposed to porn. There are so many studies that show how harmful it can be to our brains, but also, I am using masturbation as a spiritual and emotional awakening practice which porn, to me, is the opposite of. Porn tends to take away from that spiritual experience feeling and experience **for me. It's much more powerful for me to practice deep breathing, or even imagine an imaginary, current, or former lover, to excite me rather than situation's in porn films that often leave me feeling extremely guilty for watching after (the use of underage and intoxicated girls).
Another important part of my masturbation practice is to not just go straight into touching myself, but to make an entire ritual out of masturbation. For me, this includes taking a shower in the dark, with a candle and vintage music, which helps to heighten and awaken my senses. I usually do this after putting my daughter to sleep when the house is totally silent. I also cover my body in the most luxurious and fragrant natural oils, and I include our Rif Play oil (only available on Amazon) in this ritual. I apply Rif play oil about five minutes before masturbating and let me just say it helps me get there every single time. The Rif play oil helps to relax internally if I'm using internal toys, and it also helps to simulate a clitoral orgasm. I barely masturbate without it. It also has a very good slip on my toys which I did not realize was so important until I started using it!
However, you find yourself coming to terms with your body, your sexuality, and the power and your orgasm. I hope that you cum to find what's best for you. Finding your self pleasure routine can be just as a skincare and nighttime routine you love.
I hope you take this masturbation may to learn more about yourself. Read all of our blogs on self pleasure, do all of your own learning of your own body, and get yourself some Rif Yoni pleasure oil too!
- xoxo Val
